The day started rough. I was in a dark place last night. Of course I didn't sleep worth heck again. It seems I crash out hard at first. May get 2-3 hours then I am up. Wide awake till about 7 am.  Then I crash out again for a few more hours. It's a weird sleep pattern at this time but I am getting enough sleep to operate this brain. 

When you are so far ahead and get everything done sooner then you would think. The day turns boring. Fast. Sitting here, all chores are done. The dog is pooped out from running after the ball so many time, blogging is done for the day besides this entry. music is caught up just waiting for it to render. Did my 24 AI Artwork pictures for the day. Bedroom is clean, House is clean. Shopping is done. But I still sit alone. No one to have a conversation with. Just the sound of the heater fan blowing heat around the house. 

It is funny how I lay my head down to sleep and all these great thoughts come flowing in. From ideas on my next album, melodies dancing around my head. Transcripts for my next group of meditation courses for the "Controlling Anxiety" which will be a 7 day course. To smacking a wall in writing my 2 novels and poems. 

Had a horrible night. Heart would not calm down. Body all fuzzy and weird feeling. Finally fell asleep for about an hour around 8am this morning. Thats why this post is so late in the day.

Always think before you speak or type. No matter what. There is always a time even tho you think its funny and figure your going to make someone laugh, when it turns arounds and bits you in the ass. Foot in mouth. Be your self is not what it actually means. 

The morning started. Snow on the ground everywhere. Nice and crisp outside. The wind is blowing making it worse. It's an inside day bundled up to stay warm. Lots on my mind. Thoughts swimming around. Making it hard to sleep at night. The mind just rolling and rolling. My thoughts scrambled.

Today was a gloomy day. Not only cause of the clouds and snow. But for some reason I just don't know. felt disconnected from everyone. It was so bad I even updated my Living Will. The ups and downs from day to day have been tearing me down. I even scared a close friend of mine today with a text that she called to make sure I was ok and helped me through the dark hour.  I am very honored to have such great friends that take time out of their lives to help me through. Even knowing they have issue too. This one Lady I am talking with online I think she is the one I have been waiting for, for so long. Been talking and talking day in and out. We meat about 4 months ago, I swear we could have been neighbors growing up. We click like best friends from the beginning. It is just weird that these type of connections happen but god has his will and we all have to go with the flow of life. 

My heart is racing. Will a dream that was just thought as a hopeful fantasy come true one day. The pulses of excitement rushing through my veins.

Just got done re-doing the website to highlight my music I have written No Lyrics and books I have written, plus the books in progress that will be out soon, as well as the new adventure I got into, making AI Art. I am stoked and thrilled. Can't wait to see what conspires in the coming months.

I have been caught by surprise today. Shocked and befuddled. Then again those two words mean pretty much the same. lol.