Always think before you speak or type. No matter what. There is always a time even tho you think its funny and figure your going to make someone laugh, when it turns arounds and bits you in the ass. Foot in mouth. Be your self is not what it actually means.
You have to watch your self cause you can destroy a great thing in a split second. You know the person has a great sense of humor, sarcastic as hell, even though you didn't think you were not trying to make a point just some harmless ripping, digging your fingers in.
You hit a nerve that you never thought you would hit. Men and women are two completely different entities. When one says be yourself, think very hard before you post something that would actually represent yourself. Because you can hurt someone's feelings and maybe even destroy something that is great. I don't know where I stand in this yet.
I feel shattered reading the response. My heart sank. Most likely why I am on my website right now at 12:33 AM. I can't sleep. Heart keeps racing, through racing through my mind. What should I do? What did I do?
I made a joke in text, thinking I would get her to laugh and instead I got ripped for it being insulting. Well not really ripped but my heart dropped when I read those texts being returned to me because in my mind, and in my heart, I was joking, humorous, thought it would be something that would make her laugh.
Turned into something that insulted her instead. I said I was sorry, but it seemed like the conversation and interaction abruptly stopped within seconds. Not even a good night, tho I didn't send a good night either. My fault. I have learned long ago to let this settle down.
A word for the wise in real world applications. Reality on this planet, don't ever say the words calm down or relax to a female. You are literally making it worse. I've learned Wayback in the day to just let it settle down on it own, no words. Wait for them to come respond to you. Because you do have a chance that trying to explain yourself and trying to constantly apologize is going to come and bite you in the ass. Then you sitting there lost. All your hopes and dreams come shattering down, crumbling to a pile of dust.
I really hope that this is not the route it's going to take over an innocent joke, taking a stab at our messed up school systems. Even tho she is a retired teacher. But there's always that one phrase out there. "It is what it is and what happens happens".
I feel really bad because that is not the outcome I was expecting. Seriously in my mind I figured she would humorously respond to exactly what I was saying that the school systems nowadays are so messed up. But I ended up getting a response that when I read it, the lump in my throat came, my heart started thumping hard and not in a good way, like how it felt when we were flirting with each other. It felt like my heart smashed into my stomach ripped to shreds.
Again that's why I'm here on my website in the middle of the night. I can't sleep because the thought of losing such a wonderful person in my life is wearing me down and bugging the hell out of me. Mind going a million miles a minute. I am a mess.
Everyone goes threw things in their lives. I don't even know how she feels about this except it was insulting which is to me just as bad as hurting a Wonderfull lady in any which way. I am sorry, so so Sorry.