Had a horrible night. Heart would not calm down. Body all fuzzy and weird feeling. Finally fell asleep for about an hour around 8am this morning. Thats why this post is so late in the day.
I have had conversations with the person I insulted with my joke yesterday, maybe it's just me, but I still feel some tension from her text. I hope all is well, cause I just don't feel well in deep inside. Little things can be noticed with returned text. No more emoji. That show a sense of their mood while returning text. Straight to the point instead of flirting around the main question.
Almost and I can be wrong on this, it seamed like "I answered the questions now please leave me alone already" now thats not the quote just a remix of how I feel as those texts came in. I can be completely wrong on my reactions to these text.
I did ask one question about this having an impact, a dent on our path forward, on use moving forward, maybe making a relationship out of our friendship. I did not really receive the response I was looking for, hoping for..... So I don't think I am really out of the Woods on this one just yet. But I did learn real fast that I will never do that again. I will think twice before texting what I think is funny cause it may not be funny to her at all. Tho this does go against me being me with no ill intent intended at all. What happened to people and having a sense of humor? Know I know she reads these blog post here. Don't know if she has today, so I hope I am not digging a deeper hole I can't climb out of. But this is my blog to let my feelings and thought flow out. To release pressure and hurt when it build up. I am sure tho if one of my post pisses her off enough I will hear about it. One way or another, or the worse. I get unfollowed and blocked and never hear from her again. Tho it's her right to do so if it comes down to that. I will say that would suck big time.
But I also have to remember. Once you both decide to flirt and take the next step forward, even at this point knowing I have a chance to be with her, an end to that, could be the end of a beautiful friendship made first. The resentment of the losing her is what normally causes the loss of communications between the two. I mean think about it. How many, in reality go back to friends after a relationship. Not many. But thats the chance many take in our lives. Friends to relationship to marriage. Hopefully...... I have not done this dating thing in so many years. It's just been me, so I really don't know how to act. What to say. Especially after yesterday. I am afraid to even send a text. My heart was pounding brain spinning on if I should text her or not........
I also opened up the comment section for these blog post, for those that read, if anyone does, to voice their thoughts about my thoughts. Just please keep them kind. This is my private site. I can ban you here as well. But some times the input from others can help a lot. Makes ones feel not so alone in this vast world.