The morning started. Snow on the ground everywhere. Nice and crisp outside. The wind is blowing making it worse. It's an inside day bundled up to stay warm. Lots on my mind. Thoughts swimming around. Making it hard to sleep at night. The mind just rolling and rolling. My thoughts scrambled.
I cant believe a single lady can make me feel this weird. A good weird. A weird I have not felt for so long. Warm and fuzzy weird feeling. Feeling like a teenager that has a crush and found out the cursH has a crush on you as well. The heart pushing blood around the body so fast your whole body feels hot and flush. Last time I felt this way it was almost 17 years ago. So at first I thought I was getting sick or something was majorly wrong with me. Then I realized, this is not an ailment. This is the feeling of excitement and love.
Tho everything is still so new at this time and only time will tell where this goes. I only got this feeling once before in my life. I don't know if she reads my blog or even visits my website, but if she does, then she know more then I may think, even tho she may not respond in private chat on X. I know it seems indirect but it is easier opening up here and hope she read these post to gain insight and knowledge about me.. Some things are just so hard to say even with a screen in the way and between each other. Being honest to someone you click with is a bit easier, but it is still hard to do. You never know if you are saying too much. If the information is going to be used against you or if your secrets are secure. If it's going to scare them way or if they will stay cause we all have baggage these days. But thats where trust is built. You have to put yourself on the line. Tell the most darkest secrets to build trust. Of course then to never say those secrets ever.
I am also worried, there is always that chance that this new relationship will end up being a comparison from past relationships from both sides. Is this new girl going to compare to my last. Am I going to compare to her Ex. Now of course this is not fair but this happens on both sides. One thing that either one does not like the comparisons start. For example. Well my ex never did that or my ex was better at that. May it be what ever. These days it seems to be the performance in the Bedroom, the size of your penis, how long you can last in bed before you ejaculate, can you keep going after you ejaculate the first time, and if you cant the first thing offered is ED pills, which for many guys is a big blow.
Not saying I am a minute man but if your hot as fuck your going to loose your first load fast no matter what. It's if you can keep going afterwards and most men can't. remember its not all bout getting your self off you need to get your partner off too otherwise your loss of your relationship will happen fast as she will look for someone that can get her off. But for the guys reading this. The second round is much longer and you're much harder LOL. Then it comes to this. Are you adequate, are you under performing etc. This world is just so sexualized, one reason I'll date at my age or older cause that mind set is not there, different generation, we look at sex as the cherry on top of the cake. its only 10% of a relationship. the other 90% is loyalty, trust communication and true love. Not lust. Not like these young boys and girls that try to get it for hundreds of partners. I swear this is weird as hell. But these type of thoughst do go threw guys minds way more then ladies. Just an FYI ladies you can suck at sex too!!!
Those that go from middle and high school sweet heart to marriage most likely don't have this issues cause they have only been with the one they are with. this information came from a really close friend from Alaska that has been there for me for many years of my clean life from Vicodin. This exacts topic came up. This scares me a lot. Cause what if I am not up for the task. What if what if what if. Many may say take the chance enjoy the time and what ever happens, happens. But I am at the age in life that I don't want to bounce around from girl to girl. I am not like that at all. I am a one girl type of boy and I feel this time around this will be the last time at this.